images

My precious aliana margaret. the strawberry fairy with her pet dog "noname" and loves to eat fish especially "tinola". the shy yet playful and smart niece of mine.

senti

One of my first job experienced was when I was employed into i called a "firm" patterened from John Grisham. Six brilliant individuals with six or more complex yet pleasant attitude that by and then molded me into a well learned, unique and broad minded individual - i refer them as my mentor in law; i called them "campanela de abogacia" :

They taught me to read and read more-that even today whenever i saw a piece of newspaper wrapped to a dilis i still has to read it - but then again eversince i remember way back when i was still a kid i already read (owws not read but just scan or stare or look for pictures) books at home and even goes out of the way to borrow komiks from neighbors worth 25cents. When mama brought me along to negros and visit my aunts i envy them seeing piles and piles of readers digest - that i promise myself if time and money allow i have to subscribe for once a dream turn into reality.

They scolded and console me with care that i was able to learn the things and despise of the world. I was able to comprehend minute details to large errors and evaluate them inorder to conform with the society and other individual rich and poor alike. I was able to overcome inferiority amongst other high personality and was able to come talk face to face ignoring what you wear and where you stand. It was also molded well when i joined the Junior Chamber who trained us leaders in our own way and become independent and survive the dictates of everyday life.

The "firm" was gone but each individual has its own profile built by stardom and financial business connection.

* * *

I often wear this black berry bracelets of mine whenever i wore black courtesy of a person who i missed bringing us sweet tamarind from thailand! that because of prime vanished so suddenly from my eye that i haven't bid him goodbye and because of his goodness shown while i was a stranger once around i wear this bracelet and chuckle a little remembering the goodtimes swimming at the pool, a tap of my back and a gentle kiss on my cheek when my birthday comes.

* * *

papa used to rear derby roosters but mama hated it and exclaimed that roosters are more far better because early dawn papa woke up and fed them and showered them with bits of fresh veggies he cut a night before - i know mama was just jealous with the chicken! it was already months near his death that year and mama would wish his time spent with the chicken will be devoured with her loving arms especially at dawn rather than the cockadle derby kings! you know what mama did? she just threw all the large chicken to the bridge! yah right down the sea it crawl for survival papa just laugh-with tears in his eyes letting go of his treasured chicken for he knew that sooner he will be joining Almighty! today one of my chicks lie cold and stiff- i woke up at 5:30 and haven't slept again(i use to wake up at 6:45) seeing one of the two chick left - dead! yesterday papart threw the other chick who was also dead -they are set of three. i was hurt...no... i felt lonely... and remember papas roosters and also reminish the older chick that was also dead after heavy rain pours at our back - he flew for shelter but couldn't make it to swim to the other pit and there floating dead! i fear for the other one left now- he seems so lonely and light that his two wings are just like heavy armors in his side and his left eye was bruised - i don't know what happen to them all maybe some neighbors just hated chicken so much! last night papart gave them medicine for their flu and i thought the other one dead this morning was choked with the tablet-he did not powder it before feeding! i told him so... so i carried this heavy heart today also... maybe because we bought so much feeds already for them and they may taste yummy by october but then they are also joining Almighty! what can i do?...

* * *

then there were four turkeys they used to be five, one dead after a very rainy night. papart said we have to kill one today so that ailene and amiecar can eat and taste turkey for dinner but everytime our pets are lining for the "katayan blues" my heart weeps a little... but turkey is more sweeter that other barbecued fowl i tasted. hmmm its Asa's birthday today we might as well kill one but battle continue as to what and which turkey among the four to be fried??? ahh let them just play around for a while... i will buy fish for dinner tonight at least the fishes in the market are cold dead and all i have to do is point for kilo. hey stop! cold dead fish? they say it's fresh!? how could that be? how can we eat cold dead fish? and they say it's fresh? i thought fresh are alive!? another wrong notion huh!

***

I longed for the fresh air abound but you have to travel yet to get there and breathe them.. at dapitan it's always fresh air, no air pollution (because townfolks only ride bicycle) jooooookkkeeeee!

I also longed for the sun to see it set. If only the east is the west and i could stay late at the BAC office or at the warehouse and watch it set at mactan horizon. in dapitan every community sees the sun rise and sets.

***

with my new envi - all i do on weekends is just chill at the sofa and watch credits of movies. way back when i feel slumber i goes out of the house and joins barangay folks and sit along the road pavement and talked about politics and life and joys and new discovery - or texted batch 89 and play dart over a bottle of grande or just talk of office adventures and activities - or just stays at home with my sister and talked, talked, talked until wee dawn ---but here there's no one to run to, to talk to or share to - because if you decide to go out, you have to take a bath, you must comb your hair and spent for travel / bus expense; in dapitan you just walk, walk from your house to the market-to the beach- to church- to the office- to the hospital (except on emergency cases - you have to ride a tricycle or else - you guess... just like when mama had a stroke-my sister shout for help everyone came but there is no available vehicle what was there was a tri-sikad and they let mama in and though the thought was so shocking - but when we talk of it now? we end up laughing why? because nobody papartany without minding to comb my hair.

MEMORIES

he was 27 and she was 21. they were neighbors in the city. he studied college and she went to school and at the same time worked as a nursing aide. she was shapely white and he was shiny dark. they fell in love and went to the province(my homtown) and got married on the 1st day of March when there is still no electricity and the road are still dusty . their love was intense and pure and was blessed by four kids - very wonderful kids - but has two miscarriages, first was when she was 21 - the baby boy was already nine month and is supposed to be given birth unfortunately it was a breach birth and led to a sad tiny tomb. the second was befor the fourth when he already had limited time according to the lung center personnel and now it lies cold in a bottle. their love story crawled with so much love and happiness and sweet memories that when he was 44 he bade adieu to rice literally and to life practically, that left her struggle with four kids. then the journey of begging and lending and working extra hard begun. she was not used to hard work becuase while he was still alive he provided for everything- everythimg - food, shelter, clothing (even he washes the clothes) cooked the meals, clean the house and just asks for rice subsidy from his parents and managed coconut, milkfish and cow farm and the enivetable

I would like to extend my deepest appreciation to the people who still believe in my capacity and capability that i - still can work harmoniously and magically in the field i'm in now..

I'd like to believe that you all trusted me and so i put my trust in you.

With this new endevour offered, once again i have to stage my efficiency and will deliver the services that i am entrusted to.

i promise the good things and do the appropriate and uphold the conduct of a true value worthy of expectation from those who put me through this challenge..

Honestly, i started to accept that i will be going home because of a call from a "friend" that the reckoning day will be earlier-Acceptance i have that when another week after i received another call - this time from a "boss" so there is Promise - still i continue to pray after our nine day novena and piously asks for another chance - then came Judgement Day. it was my great grand lolo's birthday and i received a gift-a KIT that's all that matters now...

This time no more calls...

All i have now is WORK

and work and work

and work

WORK

then i can feed mouths, then i can buy the thing and food i'd looooove to eat and help my kin "$more$" and pay debts... notices are filing up now-and pay the bills and this time it will be different- SAVE MORE and SPEND LESS...though i already value my work eversince i started working in 1993 yet i thought my efforts are still not enough because liabilities are skyrocketing and my assets are just sooooooooooooooooo far down... maybe i need to renew my lifestyle but, no i'm already broke ever since... uhmmmm i need to WORK hard again and again... someday i will land a job that is maybe that comes with in a package of three or four like a salary, a house (to own) a car and rice allowances hmm what you think? ahhh they say nothing is

LOVE

GUESS WHAT IS THE TITLE OF THE FOLLOWING SONGS!?

1.

"Lookin' in your eyes

I see a paradise

This world that I found

Is too good to be true" ______________________________

2.

"It seems that perfect love's so hard to find

I'd almost given up, you must have read my mind

And all these dreams I save for a rainy day

They're finally coming true, I'll share them all with you

'Cause now we hold the future in our hands"______________________________

3.

"There'll be good times,
And there'll be bad,But i will stand beside you

All the way" _______________________________

4.

"Well, like a flower to a tree

Like words to a melody of love

There's no way we could break up

No words that can make us

Blow our thing. We're just... " _______________________________

5.

"You know, i've seen a lot of what the world can do

And it's breakin' my heart in two

Because i never wanna see you a sad girl

Don't be a bad girl

But if you wanna leave take good care

I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there

But remember there's a lot of bad and beware" ____________________________

6.

"Say, say that you'll be there

Whenever i reach out

to feel your hand in mine

Stay, stay within my heart

Whenever i'm alone

I'll know that you are there" _____________________________

7.

"Hey! if we can solve any problem

Then why do we lose so many tears

Oh, and so you go again

When the leading man appears

Always the same thing

Can't you see, we've got everything goin' on and on and on" ____________________

8.

"If we'd go again all the way from the start

I would try to change things that killed our love

Your pride has built the wall so strong that i can' get through!

Is there really no chance to start once again?

I'm loving you" ____________________

9.

"I call your number, the line ain't free

I like to tell you come to me

A night without you seems like a lost dream

Love i can't tell you how i feel" ____________________________

10

"I wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me

How i'm certain that our love was meant to be

You changed my life, you showed me the way

And now that i'm next to you... ______________________________

Answers:

NOTHINGS' GONNA STOP US NOW

PARADISE

TILL DEATH DO US PART

WILD WORLD

YOU'RE ALL I NEED

EVERYTIME YOU GO AWAY

STILL LOVING YOU

ESPECIALLY FOR YOU

It speaks

of feelings, emotions, belongingness,

affection and bliss;

sadness and frustrations,

heartaches and pain, neglect and rejection;

yet it also promise a new beginning,

a new day,

faith and trust;

a thing unimaginable to the eye,

the spectators and to the world,

unbelivable by own self,

indescribable and

magical...

It's

LOVE!

Yes! love it is..The most universal thing in the world nothing ever surpass - only hate then, yet I have loved not just once, twice or thrice but many times. five??? yeah... My First Love-i do have-really. I was in my third year highschool at that time busy with the student council and fall in love to a distant relative of mine whose definition of first love is the tossing to and fro in bed and can't-sleep-thinking-of-you thing! which to these days i say i'ts a whole infatuation and the first ever definition of a true love thus....Then there was this love going on that is pure respect and affection and not longing or touchy but admiration and friendship-quite perfect but still you search for another adventure and found another arms to challenge your mood and there was this tall dark and handsome devil you care as you say with full of unsuspecting and mysterious aura a feeling that you seem to describe as a roller coaster ride ( i admit i haven't ride yet ever and never ever ride even disneyland will offer ) that because of my fear in roller coasters that's how i describe that kind of love-and yet, you fall again! to a man you think suited already to you, your taste and acceptable to your kin because he is professional, quite cute and appealing, offers you songs and guitar humms and never forgets to greet you good morning good night and you thought-this is it! this is really it! but only to find out that he sends messages to everybody else and all the beautiful ladies in town huh! and all you then think of is get away- away from that hideous monster and golden smile that you once persevere but love comes in mysterious ways while we are still alive and never been heart bypass hahahahahah love often play us and we play along and then you meet another being that brings thud thud thud in your heart....hmmmmnn this time - no more emotions but mind no matter what and where it lead - huhuhuhuhu love knocks again and i hate it - this time it's for real - i guess i thought - with a man so understanding and serves me. knows my weakest part and pours affection to my lonely and frustrated nature... ahhhh LOVE you never know when it comes and i'm so glad that every time it hit me i feel it and makes me a better person and understand other human being and i feel blessed that ive tasted all the love in the world!

N-E-W

ON SHOES:

Why is it that every time I buy a new shoes and wore it... it rains!

Yeah, it's true! and i wonder why?

It is possible that basta bago kailangan kasi mabasbasan!

Ganon?!!!

Which makes my new shoes laundered though its new kasi maputik.... because it rains while i wore it the other day! and though its in the middle of summer but Kuya Kim says "May ulan sa ibat-ibang bahagi ng Pilipinas!" i must have been warned the night before...

ON NEIGHBORS:

Everytime you settled in a new place you come to meet different personalities like my new neighbor today-who is a self-confessed drug addict-and in fact proud (very proud) of himself that he had tasted all the smoke haven!

He is quite intriquing because he is lean and tall and white and blonde(hair).
Who loves to listen to his music (the old blues like Scorpions, and the like-which guitars are so squeeky on ears? that!) and do you know what's the best time he plays his Scorpions? 12midnight to 2am or on a Suunday at 6am to 10am! whewww Ada's puwet is still snoring at that time!gravehh

There was one incident that happen- i call up the nearby police station and reported the public nuisance(for me, it is anuisance-because i didn't like what he is doing!)... so the police of the other line interviewed my name, what happen, what time it occured etcetera etcetera etcetera and only then that i realize that nothing would happen between us talking because he(the police) suggested I together with our neighbors will just file a case to the barangay and have that person answer our case filed! huh!

So i put the phone down!

And sleep to the night with the thought that i must be looking somewhere else for another apartment that i have complete peace...

But then again, I was thinking why does his wife don't even calm his husband? then one night came that i heard banging of doors and walls (kahoy ug sin man ila balay gud-mao ng mo-create ug kusug nga tingog) and heads! heads? yeah ulo jud! ulo iya asawa ug mga anak iya gi bugbog! ngeik!

Well, the following morning-i saw him sweeping the leaves around their home and his wife ooking breakfast! another amazing love story....

But until now the playing of loud music is still going through and through.... that our glass windows may even grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....... and even i stayed out at the corner highway --- the music stills keeps playing--- ambot nalang jud... but i'm not angry anymore, you know, i came to accept the fact that everyone in this world is unique in the making-

ON FRIENDS:

Meeting new people is also what i call talent...uhmmmn not the right word... VALUES i guess--ahh yeah.. exactly- being freindly and getting to know other people in their most deepest and sincerest part of their lives... and then you get to know them... not that according to other peoples opinion but because i know them now by heart.

I came across to meeting with the different kinds of people in this small part on earth. They come in as small medium large and thick and thin and colored and black & white, or just simply people.

My barkada - RMI Batch'89 is now replicated with my new found friends in VSO. That's why i'm not quite lonely nowadays having to meet them and know them by heart. I thought i wouldn't belong now because ive stayed with one group that i thought would only matter, but as we grow and as we go to the different places we then meet other people that fill our longings from our previous group..

I'd like to mention a few - Chalee has been my batch forever. and now i found Ailene whose laugh and smile is of purest. Gabino is the silent type fiscal whom i run to and now here is Pielstick whose silence is so warm. Then Harvey, and Francisco who are two dear friend of mine who looks like a bro to me and Kristine the leader of our band; our strong defender and the answer to all our weaknesses. I came to meet Ms. Janett and Sir CDL who paralleled Joel our priest that with so much values and earthly virtues never surpasses to amazes me. The rest of VSO are just just amazing, heart warming, admirable, understanding and adventurous...They are of fierciest lion but Jesus is their warmth and shield. Julius our captain is also very concerned of me just like Barbara whom i talked to with heart and mind wide open and also Goldamier just like Reinalynn, Indira and Amabelle and Leizel and Naia, Cherry and Ma Elaine and Almira. We talk of everything under the sun, below the planet, inside the testicles of our veins and things that matters our heart and soul-all the heartbreak and the haapiest moments of plain rock and roll. And here is Gemma so far yet so near and so near yet so far. We didnt talk for decades but our love for each other stayed as the memories of the past lingers forever like Kenneth and Daylinda. Then Rizza whom i refer to us my guardina angel. Then Ailene and Maricel my beer bros and videoke partners. There is also Manolita whom i shared the goodtimes of lovin and Clynia whom i talked to intelligently about life, love and lost. My Jaycee family like Mervi & Jonas, Roy and Francis, Thaddeus and Gabriel, Benson and Benedicto they are all my grass roots with Cyrus and Rolito, we call them the big PP's.

Above them all is my only sister whom i will never ever replace, forget, deprive-Asa. My deepest love and affection to my Dwight and Aiel. They are all irreplaceable and uncomparable. Our love for each other has not been published in any definition of love.


UKay:

Me and my friends went malling.... owwws near a mall- and i found a cute brown pants, and two cute dresses.. I intend to wear it the next day but my love intend it first to be laundred so i ended up wearing it the next week. Everytime i buy something new especially dresses i really wanted it to wear it directly. Everytime i have a new bag or a new shoes- i really wanted it to
use directly and tell the whole world that i have a new item...hehehe



FOOD:

I love food and food loves me.
I'd like to share a breakfast menu for those lazyheads out there...

every pay day make it sure you visit the grocery store and pick the basics, such as sardines, egg, rice, dried fish or

and a visit to the market for onion, tomato, onion leaves, garlic and vegetables of your choice.

with that, you can already put the magic of your hands on what to cook daily.

I'd like to share a simple breakfast menu for those lazy heads out there:

Crack two eggs, add pinch of salt, chopped tomatoes and onions and pinch of magic sarap and fry with margarine in a nonstick pan. Fry dried fish. And use the same frying pan to sinangag your rice. Well, a healthy fun easy breakfast.

Songs of my Heart: 1

Sweet Child O' Mine
She's got a smile that it seems to me..Reminds me of childhood memories..Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky..Now and then when I see her face..She takes me away to that special place..And if I stared too long I'd probably break down and cry..Oh, sweet child o' mine o sweet love of mine..She's got eyes of the bluest skies..As if they thought of rain..I hate to look into those eyes..And see an ounce of pain..Her hair reminds me of a warm safe placeWhere as a child I'd hideAnd pray for the thunder and the rainTo quietly pass me byOh, sweet child o' mineOh, sweet love of mineOh, sweet child o' mineOh, sweet love of mineOh, sweet child o' mineOh, sweet love of mineWhere do we goWhere do we go nowWhere do we goWhere do we goWhere do we go nowWhere do we goSweet childWhere do we go nowWhere do we goWhere do we go nowWhere do we goWhere do we go nowWhere do we goWhere do we go nowSweet childSweet child o' mine