senti

One of my first job experienced was when I was employed into i called a "firm" patterened from John Grisham. Six brilliant individuals with six or more complex yet pleasant attitude that by and then molded me into a well learned, unique and broad minded individual - i refer them as my mentor in law; i called them "campanela de abogacia" :

They taught me to read and read more-that even today whenever i saw a piece of newspaper wrapped to a dilis i still has to read it - but then again eversince i remember way back when i was still a kid i already read (owws not read but just scan or stare or look for pictures) books at home and even goes out of the way to borrow komiks from neighbors worth 25cents. When mama brought me along to negros and visit my aunts i envy them seeing piles and piles of readers digest - that i promise myself if time and money allow i have to subscribe for once a dream turn into reality.

They scolded and console me with care that i was able to learn the things and despise of the world. I was able to comprehend minute details to large errors and evaluate them inorder to conform with the society and other individual rich and poor alike. I was able to overcome inferiority amongst other high personality and was able to come talk face to face ignoring what you wear and where you stand. It was also molded well when i joined the Junior Chamber who trained us leaders in our own way and become independent and survive the dictates of everyday life.

The "firm" was gone but each individual has its own profile built by stardom and financial business connection.

* * *

I often wear this black berry bracelets of mine whenever i wore black courtesy of a person who i missed bringing us sweet tamarind from thailand! that because of prime vanished so suddenly from my eye that i haven't bid him goodbye and because of his goodness shown while i was a stranger once around i wear this bracelet and chuckle a little remembering the goodtimes swimming at the pool, a tap of my back and a gentle kiss on my cheek when my birthday comes.

* * *

papa used to rear derby roosters but mama hated it and exclaimed that roosters are more far better because early dawn papa woke up and fed them and showered them with bits of fresh veggies he cut a night before - i know mama was just jealous with the chicken! it was already months near his death that year and mama would wish his time spent with the chicken will be devoured with her loving arms especially at dawn rather than the cockadle derby kings! you know what mama did? she just threw all the large chicken to the bridge! yah right down the sea it crawl for survival papa just laugh-with tears in his eyes letting go of his treasured chicken for he knew that sooner he will be joining Almighty! today one of my chicks lie cold and stiff- i woke up at 5:30 and haven't slept again(i use to wake up at 6:45) seeing one of the two chick left - dead! yesterday papart threw the other chick who was also dead -they are set of three. i was hurt...no... i felt lonely... and remember papas roosters and also reminish the older chick that was also dead after heavy rain pours at our back - he flew for shelter but couldn't make it to swim to the other pit and there floating dead! i fear for the other one left now- he seems so lonely and light that his two wings are just like heavy armors in his side and his left eye was bruised - i don't know what happen to them all maybe some neighbors just hated chicken so much! last night papart gave them medicine for their flu and i thought the other one dead this morning was choked with the tablet-he did not powder it before feeding! i told him so... so i carried this heavy heart today also... maybe because we bought so much feeds already for them and they may taste yummy by october but then they are also joining Almighty! what can i do?...

* * *

then there were four turkeys they used to be five, one dead after a very rainy night. papart said we have to kill one today so that ailene and amiecar can eat and taste turkey for dinner but everytime our pets are lining for the "katayan blues" my heart weeps a little... but turkey is more sweeter that other barbecued fowl i tasted. hmmm its Asa's birthday today we might as well kill one but battle continue as to what and which turkey among the four to be fried??? ahh let them just play around for a while... i will buy fish for dinner tonight at least the fishes in the market are cold dead and all i have to do is point for kilo. hey stop! cold dead fish? they say it's fresh!? how could that be? how can we eat cold dead fish? and they say it's fresh? i thought fresh are alive!? another wrong notion huh!

***

I longed for the fresh air abound but you have to travel yet to get there and breathe them.. at dapitan it's always fresh air, no air pollution (because townfolks only ride bicycle) jooooookkkeeeee!

I also longed for the sun to see it set. If only the east is the west and i could stay late at the BAC office or at the warehouse and watch it set at mactan horizon. in dapitan every community sees the sun rise and sets.

***

with my new envi - all i do on weekends is just chill at the sofa and watch credits of movies. way back when i feel slumber i goes out of the house and joins barangay folks and sit along the road pavement and talked about politics and life and joys and new discovery - or texted batch 89 and play dart over a bottle of grande or just talk of office adventures and activities - or just stays at home with my sister and talked, talked, talked until wee dawn ---but here there's no one to run to, to talk to or share to - because if you decide to go out, you have to take a bath, you must comb your hair and spent for travel / bus expense; in dapitan you just walk, walk from your house to the market-to the beach- to church- to the office- to the hospital (except on emergency cases - you have to ride a tricycle or else - you guess... just like when mama had a stroke-my sister shout for help everyone came but there is no available vehicle what was there was a tri-sikad and they let mama in and though the thought was so shocking - but when we talk of it now? we end up laughing why? because nobody papartany without minding to comb my hair.